Lady Gaga Causes Vegas Uproar

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Just when you thought her music was the worst thing Lady Gaga could have ever done to society, she takes it even farther. I wasn’t crazy abut the decision when I heard she was chosen to sing the National Anthem, but I was like, ‘whatever, I should be drunk by that point anyways.’ Then I heard that the over/under on time of the song was 2:20, and I got to thinking.

I thought instantly to take the under. Lady Gaga doesn’t have the voice to drag out the long notes, so I thought it was a safe bet. Gaga then finished singing in about 2:10, right when I went to high five my friend, and Buzz correspondent, known formally as “the shark.” Just as we celebrated our imaginary winnings, Lady Gaga resang the last line.

I nearly sharted on the shark’s lovely couch cover. She resang the final line and went longer than 2:20. Vegas decided to pay the under, but people who chose the over are in an uproar. If you ask me, this is just another reason society doesn’t need lady Gaga. As if her meat dress wasn’t enough of a warning sign.

– R. Ilardi

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